A Mess
by How Many Seconds
Summary: Jonny's hopes of survival become nil after receiving news from his doctor: Dr. Khean that has situation has worsened and it is unlikely anything will ever be the same again. A Friday Night Dinner FanFiction(M)


**Authors Notes:**

**Disclaimer: These characters are _not_ my own****, they were created by Robert Popper. No copyright infringement intended, no profit being made.**

**Rated M/MA: for descriptions of brain cancer, traumatic events and swearing.**

**A Friday Night Dinner FanFiction.**

**For some odd reason, my line breaks will not save when I edit documents so I will keep trying to get this issue resolved; i****n the meantime, enjoy and thank you for reading.**

**Please read my previous FanFiction: I Felt the Symptoms of No Hope before reading this, as this FanFiction is a follow on from the events that occurred within I Felt the Symptoms of No Hope. **

* * *

Jonny Goodman sat in silence- alongside his older brother: Adam, his mother and father and renewed lover: Liz- awaiting the arrival of Dr. Khean, who was often early but was now a little behind schedule, forcing the group into anxiousness. It had been four months since Jonny had commenced his chemotherapy treatments, something he believed had helped very little throughout the months: especially, when considering the amount of seizures he had experienced throughout previous weeks. It terrified him to think how little the chemotherapy had helped to ease his unclear vision, intense faintness and unpleasant headache: not to mention the amount of seizures he had had to endure. When Jonny had received a call to talk about the treatments and progression of the cancer- after an MRI- his entire routine had become unsettled and stirred: all negative emotions had refreshed and had refused to settle ever since- he had been anxious for days and had believed there was no one to turn to with the exception of Elizabeth: who had been there throughout his experience of loneliness: prompting him to realise how often she had been there throughout their recent dating experiences, prompting him to ask her out, once again. Upon receiving the call- understanding that the chemotherapy had helped very little- it was obvious that there was a high likelihood that the cancer hadn't improved and the person-to-person conversation was not going to be a bringer of good news.

When Dr. Khean entered the room- apologising for his lateness- the clutch the two females: Jackie and Liz had upon Jonny's hands tightened, the group becoming attentive towards the doctor who- even now- appeared solemn.

"Jonny; I've taken a look at the MRI scans taken throughout the previous weeks." Jonny nodded, of course being attentive and focused upon the doctor- trying his very best to concentrate: despite his unpleasant headache. "Unfortunately, it's bad news. I'm sorry but the cancer has not responded to any of the chemotherapy given; the tumour appears resistant to the chemotherapy." Jonny swallowed, hard- biting his lip in attempts to contain his tears- tearing himself Jackie's and Liz's clutches, covering his face in attempts to remain composed. Understanding his upset, Adam readjusted his seat in order to hug his younger brother from behind- leaning his chin on his fragile shoulder- trying to soothe him as his shoulders trembled. "I'll show you the scans." Dr. Khean- not having his tablet accompanying him- tapped upon his keyboard until the screen became alight; then- after what appeared to be hours- he turned the screen a little to allow each of the Goodmans a view of the scans. The first two shots upon the computer showed the recognisable from of the human brain, an image that was- likely- not Jonny's brain, considering the normalcy and undisturbed features of the shot. Then, the scans of Jonny's brain were shown; Dr. Khean pointed to the tumour, explaining that the cancer had not decreased but instead had increased in size. Throughout his explanation, Dr. Khean used fancy words the Goodmans and Elizabeth didn't understand- though, they understood the situation was dire and Jonny had little chance of survival- and knew Jonny didn't understand either: he just sat, nodding as politely as possible under such circumstances.

"However- I am sorry- I'm afraid that's not all." Everyone halted whatever they were doing, obviously dumbfounded that there could be more to add to an already unpleasant situation. "The cancer has- also- managed to spread; the cancer is beginning to affect other areas of the brain." Dr. Khean motioned to areas of the screen- once again- areas that Jonny, the other Goodmans and Elizabeth hadn't noticed beforehand; maybe their minds had decided to ignore the secondary tumours seen upon the scans in hopes that the cancer hadn't been able to spread: they'd pleaded- countless times- for the cancer to remain within one place but it appeared their pleads had been in vain.

"What do we do?" Questioned Adam, a willingness and determination to do something evident within his tone of voice: if there was something he could do, he'd do it in order to save his younger brother.

"Honestly, there's little we can do. Due to the size and aggressiveness of the primary tumour, it's very unlikely that the tumour can be removed even if we do perform surgery. The primary tumour is too aggressive and won't respond to surgery, that is a known fact. At this point, it's too risky." Feeling his heart starting to increase its beats and feeling his throat becoming clenched, Martin store the doctor within his eyes- pleading with him in attempts to force him into action- not wanting his youngest son to die, not when he had the entirety of his life to live.

"Can't we just- take that risk?" Shaking his head in disagreement, Dr. Khean felt his throat clenching- feeling remorse and upset upon delivering such unpleasant news to such a pleasant family- understanding that this was the hardest part of his job: delivering the news of a spreading cancer was a difficulty when being a doctor.

"What- what does this mean, then?" Questioned Elizabeth, nails now digging into Jonny's skin- considering the tightness of her clutch upon his hand- though, he hardly minded or noticed. Dr. Khean- merely- shook his head, indicating to the family that Jonny was going to die: Khean just didn't want to deliver such a painful truth.

"No, I'm sorry but there must be _something_." Jackie pleaded- tears streaming down her cheeks, unable to contain herself- understanding that her child: no, her _baby_\- was going to die, despite what doctors and chemotherapy attempted to do to aid his condition.

"I'm sorry. We _can_ continue with the chemotherapy but I'm afraid it'll have little affect, except for negatively affecting Jonny's health with horrible side effects." Adam clutched his brother closer, hugging his skinny frame- feeling as though he'd dissipate within his arms if he loosened his hold-tears staining his brothers polo-shirt as he buried his face within his shoulder. Adam couldn't believe this was happening to his youngest and only brother, his youngest and only _sibling_\- in his opinion, it should be him experiencing such an illness not Jonathan.

"How- long?" Stuttered Jonny- the stutter a long-term issue caused by the tumour- words struggled despite his speech impediment.

"I'd say two to three months, Jonathan; I am so- inexplicably- sorry, if there was something more I could do, I would." Once again, Jonny concealed his face within his hands; however- this time-the Goodmans and Elizabeth heard sobs coming from his direction: his shoulders heaving as he cried. Knowing he required comfort- despite her own unhappiness- Elizabeth exited her chair, knelt in front of Jonny and clutched his head within the nook of her neck: trying to comfort him as Adam stroked his brothers back: his own hands shaking, no longer being able to contain the tears he had been forced to hold back for several minutes.

"I'll let you be alone." Jackie nodded, understandingly- placing a hand upon her sons arm- watching as the doctor left without saying further words, leaving the family in silence: with the exception of their uncontrollable sobs.

* * *

Once Jonny had returned to his bedroom, his mother, father and older brother- accompanied by Elizabeth- entered the living room where Valerie and Eleanor had awaited their arrival, anxious to hear the news of the cancer progression: hoping that the cancer had managed to improve. As per usual, Valerie and Eleanor had opened the cheap champagne and were deep in conversation-conversing about their lives, trying to find light despite the circumstances-though stopped and placed their glasses upon the table as the group entered with a chorus of sighs.

"So-" Valerie began, searching the Goodmans for answers: desperate to be told if Jonny's cancer had improved. Adam swallowed, hard- looking at both Valerie and his grandmother: Eleanor, not prepared to tell them such upsetting news. Scratching the back of her neck- feeling as though her knees would buckle- Elizabeth sat, not wanting to show her upset to the Goodmans.

"What is it?" Questioned Eleanor, not quite understanding what was happening- despite the unhappiness of her family- trying to understand whether the situation was improving or faltering. "The- the chemotherapy Jonny's been attending? The- the treatment hasn't worked; the cancer is too aggressive." Silence dawned upon the group-everyone being stunned into silence- not knowing what to do, just sitting or standing aimlessly.

"He has three to four months left to live." Adam added- sitting alongside his mother- who held her crying child within supportive arms, his emotions too overwhelming to remain contained. Valerie- immediately- forced herself to turn from the group, hiding her face within her hands: feeling completely useless and powerless. Martin- after what had seemed to be days- finally allowed himself to cry: becoming frozen at the doorway. Elizabeth: Jonny's renewed lover- who had hoped to remain composed- also broke into sobs, hoping that this was just a cruel nightmare. After a moment- with a _lot_ of tears and comforting words- Eleanor did her best to approach her daughter while having to walk upon unstable legs and offered her child hugs, which Jackie accepted: still clutching her son close to her chest.

"I'm so sorry." Choked Valerie- eventually able to speak, despite her words being strained due to her crying, still feeling unable to stop her sobs. "Where's Jonny, now?"

"He wanted to be alone." Adam stated, his sobs beginning to slow- hiccups escaping his lips- as he cradled his mother's waist. "Of course, he thought you all deserved to know what was happening; he asked us to tell you." Eleanor nodded- her movements slowed due to her shock- now, not only embracing her daughter but her grandson: Adam, as well.

"Is there anything we can do?" Questioned Eleanor, stroking her grandsons back- his back heaving with hiccups- trying her best to be of some use. Jackie shrugged- looking at her husband: Martin, momentarily- before returning her attentions back to her mother, who was offering her a soft smile and- eventually- shook her head, knowing there was little _anyone_ could do for Jonny, anymore- or any of the other Goodmans, in that matter- she just had to accept that her family was beginning to shatter. How they were going to survive without Jonathan was beyond her.

* * *

Throughout the next few days- even Friday, which is when Jackie tended to cook- both Jonny and Jackie refused to leave their beds, even know both Adam and Martin did the best to motivate the duo; however- to be honest- Adam and Martin- also- did very little throughout the days and spent most of their time upon the sofa: sometimes watching television, other times sat in silence: still trying to comprehend what Dr. Khean had told them in Jonny's recent appointment. Whenever they ventured up the stairs, they heard sobs emitting from both bedrooms but- whenever they dared to open the doors- the occupant pleaded to be left alone, the only response to which was to leave the occupant alone as asked. Due to this, Martin and Jackie's marriage was beginning to become strained- even more so than when arguments occurred amongst the duo- the lack of communication showing; Martin was rarely able to kiss his wife when in bed due to how stiffened and unsociable she was becoming. It was obvious how exhausted she was, the situation had started to take its toll upon all relatives and friends who knew about it, even Jim decided not to visit the home as often due to his understanding of how difficult the situation was for the family. Everything seemed dead, unmoving and unenjoyable within the home: it was a miracle that Adam and Martin hadn't managed to enter into their own depressive episodes while there; of course, that didn't mean that both Adam and Martin didn't experience their own depressive episodes, their episodes just didn't occur within the house. Often- when driving to and from work- Martin would feel an overwhelming amount of fear and anxiousness for his son and would been forced into stopping the vehicle before he caused an accident due to the tears that'd obscure his vision. Adam- when at his apartment- would do very little, except eat unhealthy food, sit in front of a static television and cry: having to push all unhealthy thoughts- such as: it should be him experiencing such an illness not Jonathan- from his brain.

Throughout the days that followed, it was just Jonny who remained within his bedroom: relatives and friends came to visit him within the home but all left without seeing Jonny, only able to pay their condolences before leaving the family in silence. Whenever his mother came to softly scold him, he pulled the covers further over his head in attempts to block out all human contact, allowing himself to become- completely- unsociable. Throughout these days, Jonny didn't eat: even when his mother tempted him with promises of lamb and profiteroles, which happened to be Jonny's favourite meal. Throughout these days, Jonny didn't talk: not to anyone; even when his lover: Liz and older brother: Adam conversed between one another, all Jonny did was nod as politely as possible, despite his mood. Throughout these days, Jonny- rarely- even used the restroom, refusing to leave his bedroom even on the occasion. It was a difficulty that seemed unable to cease, a difficulty the other Goodmans wished they could unburden him from. At least, Jackie's mood had managed to lighten a little: despite understanding her child was dying- being the mother of the family, she understood she had to remain strong and be there for others, also.

* * *

On the Monday- despite their strenuous relationship- Elizabeth kissed Jonny upon the forehead before using the washing facilities and venturing to work, bidding farewell to the Goodmans: who had become so accustomed to Elizabeth that they had allowed her to move into their home in order for her to be closer to Jonny-as well as Jonny and Adam who had moved back into their family home. When she returned home, she had expected the home to be as it was before she had left for work: dead, unmoving and unenjoyable; however, very surprisingly- her expectations differed from reality- Jonny sat amongst his relatives, conversing about his condition and how he wanted to be buried. Of course, the conversation wasn't pleasant and the topic _was_ an uncomfortable thing to be talking about- it was obvious Jonny was thinking about writing his will and his finical papers and the whereabouts of where his body would be buried- but at least he wasn't within his bedroom, refusing to talk to anyone. Despite the topic that was being talked about being one filled with unpleasantness, Liz felt a smile creeping onto her lips: seeing her boyfriend out of his bedroom and talking to his parents meant the start of his mood uplifting.

However- before Elizabeth was able to join the conversing group- Jonny exited his seat with speed: one hand clutching his stomach, another clutching his mouth, desperation evident within his eyes. Footsteps upon the stairs alerted the Goodmans to what was happening, Elizabeth and Adam accompanying Jonny as he entered the bathroom: emptying all stomach contents into the toilet basin: clutching at the rim with whitening knuckles.

"Oh- shit, not again- Jonny; it's ok, it's going to be ok." Adam attempted to comfort his brother, stroking his brothers shaking back: watching as he vomited into the basin- though his comfort wasn't convincing- all it managed to do was alert Jonny to the fact that he wasn't _"ok."_ Not knowing what else to do- feeling completely useless and powerless- Elizabeth mopped at her boyfriend's forehead with a wet, cooling washcloth in attempts to cool his feverishness. As the vomiting continued, both Liz and Adam attempted to soothe Jonny: who's vomiting episode was- slowly- easing, considering his stomach was- likely- emptying at a volant pace: the only food he had eaten throughout the previous days had been in very little amounts, such little amounts- in fact- that it was difficult to believe he had anything left to vomit.

"Liz-" Whispered Jonny, weakly- once his vomiting had- significantly- slowed- desperation for his girlfriend to comfort him or make her presence known obvious upon his expression: tears slipping onto his porcelain, sweat-coated cheeks.

"I'm here, Jonny." Liz assured, hugging her lover from behind- leaning her chin on his fragile shoulder- holding him up straight within her arms, the duo being leant against the tiled bathroom wall.

"Adam-" Jonny whimpered-eyes searching the room for his older brother: breaths hiccupped, breath sickly scented- his vision even more unclear than beforehand.

"I'm here- too- Jonny, it'll be ok." Adam promised, though- at this point- his lies were beginning to insult Jonny; he understood he wasn't _"ok,"_ he knew his brother was dumbfounded by the circumstances but he had to accept that this is what was happening. "Come on, best get you redressed into your pyjamas. Liz, would you mind helping him bathe?" Questioned Adam- noticing the newfound state of his brother: his loose clothing being- thinly- coated in his vomit, his skin smelling sickly- his authoritativeness as the older brother being shown as he removed his younger brother's t-shirt.

"Of course." Liz responded, helping Adam remove the t-shirt, though being sure not to let Jonny slump further into her arms: in case he needed to be sick, again.

* * *

**Another Story to Follow. **


End file.
